The Little Big Moments
by Ciboulette
Summary: A series of drabbles about my favorite Lost character, Juliet, in moments that I think were important for her. Rated for swearing and mentions of sex.
1. Just Cry Your Pretty Little Head Off

**Warning: **Swearing. No real spoilers (unless you haven't watched Season Three...).

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Lost.

**Summary: **Juliet doesn't listen to Edmund anymore.

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"Don't worry your pretty little head."

Juliet cannot remember who told her that, (_was it Edmund? It probably was._) and it comes to mind as she walks to Ben's charming little home, clutching a secret that would ruin him in her hands. He has cancer. Spinal cancer. She disobeys Edmund, and worries her pretty little head, so much it makes her brain explode.

_What about Rachel? _Ben lied to her when he told her that she was going to be fine. She shouldn't be surprised, but that level of betrayal and treachery at this point just makes her want to cry. It makes her want to hurt him, she realizes.

She's in his house now, showing him the scan, screaming, _Why didn't you tell me?! _His face remains unmoved, impassive, and cold. Despite her refusal to give him the satisfaction of making her cry, she can feel her eyes watering, overflowing. Suddenly, the dam breaks and she wails and screeches like a fucking animal; noises no human should make.

There's a butcher knife, not five inches away from the tips of her fingers, and it takes every ounce of willpower in her not to pick it up, and fulfill every sick, twisted fantasy that has crossed her mind in the last three years since she has met Benjamin Linus.

She doesn't look at him as he leaves her, disgusted. She doesn't do what she wants to do, she doesn't kill him, and doesn't listen to Edmund.

She just cries her pretty little head off.


	2. Until They Come Back

**Warning: **Contains spoilers for LaFleur. Mild language, mentions of sex. Juliet/Sawyer.

**Summary: **Juliet thought she'd been left with second best, and by God, she'd never been so wrong.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Lost.

* * *

Juliet was used to being second best. She'd been married to a man (_Edmund, dead, thankfully_) who's main ambition in their marriage was to flaunt his sexual prowess to her by bringing home younger, prettier women, pretending (_Do me the respect of not pretending, _Juliet thinks bitterly, trying to ignore the noises coming from the other room, trying to concentrate on her work.) that she wasn't absolutely nothing to him. Fine. That was fine. She'd pretended remorse at his death, but all she could think was, _Thank you, God._

Ben was different. His obsessive interest left her wishing that she _was_ second best, at least in his eyes. Years of playing passive-aggressive, (_no thanks, I don't feel like joining you for dinner tonight_) avoiding his piercing gaze, turning frantically to Goodwin (_She was still second best to him_) hoping maybe he would get it through his dense, narrow-minded head that she _didn't want to be with him. _It didn't work, ending with tears and a stake through a (_relatively_) innocent man's heart.

Jack. Oh, Jack. (_I would have given you my heart, if you had asked.) _For him, it was always Kate. What's Kate doing, where is she, what's she thinking, who's her guy-of-the-moment. (_Look, Kate's watching. Better kiss Juliet.) _She pretended not to know, trying to lose herself in the lie. Eventually, though, and it killed her, she had to acknowledge the fact that, for Jack, she would never be more than a replacement. Second best.

So, when she stays for James, when they kiss for the first time, she sees something on his face. _Second best._

It occurs to her that he suffered through the same psychological (_she hesitates to say trauma. Torture? Maybe.) _hurt and anguish that she did; being second best, watching Jack, handsome, whole, perfect Jack, ride off into the sunset with beautiful, special, perfect Kate. After a while of being Jack's shadow, agreeing with everything he said, she began to see James as just that; second best. When the island started moving, when Jack and Kate left the island, and ran straight to each other's beds (_You don't know that, _she tells herself. _Yes, I do, _the realistic part replies), all she could think was; just until they come back. Just until Jack returns.

Then she starts to notice things, like how he always has something to say, funny, rude, or just plain _true. _How his eyes were filled with tears when John fell down the well, crushing (_or so they thought_) all hopes of being saved. _You got my back? _He asks, and she sees he genuinely trusts her with his life. She always says, _Yes._

She starts to notice, to pay attention, and it's not long until she stops thinking of him as _second best, _not as good, mediocre. It's when they kiss for the first time, Juliet looks at him, and all thoughts of unworthiness and _not good enough _fly out the window. And the way he looks at her erases any feelings, dark thoughts of the exact same doubts she had for him. She's not a piece of shit, a tag-along burden, and for once she's found a guy capable of acknowledging that.

When Jack and Kate left the island, Juliet thought she'd been saddled with second best. Now she could proudly state that, by _God, _she'd never been so wrong.


End file.
